From Harvey Dog’s Carnival – December 28th, 2005: “CATHARTIC WARNING: Harvey Dog rambles on and on until Dr. Hawkwind appears and applies medication.”
Harvey Dog has been rather stressed out lately, due to a situation in his and the Guru’s home. Let’s just say living with a 21-year-old kid with an attitude and all that goes with it certainly makes for stressful times. I hold in my emotions and hope…hold in my emotions and hope…then BLOW UP!!! This is where we are now. One thing that has come out of this for the blog is that it has renewed my interest in music with ATTITUDE!!!!! Classic Punk Rock!!
I believe attitude is a great thing. A necessary thing. You need attitude to change things. BUT BUT BUT there is no reason to hurt people who are just trying to get on with their lives and have no intention of hurting anyone. Let’s face it…life sucks, a lot of people suck, and most people just want to get on with as few problems as possible…but just like hatred can increase exponentially, can peace and love?
GUILTY VERDICT! I am VERY guilty of staying in too much and hiding away from the world. I should be out supporting worthy causes either through money or volunteering. I’m trying to bounce back from a pretty bad breakdown, so hopefully I’ll soon be doing my bit to put some positive vibes back into society. If I don’t, then shame on me. Currently, I’m just trying to cope and deal with what’s going on in my life now.
When I was younger, I spouted poetry and wrote about what I thought society’s ills were (maybe I didn’t have the solutions, but you need to identify the problem before you can solve it, and these are mighty complex problems for anyone), and I supported music and artists that meant or said something. At least if they were sincere and meant it, man. I got into punk rock (about 79-80) and went to lots of punk rock shows.
During my drunken stint in Toronto, I regularly went to a hardcore punk club called DMZ run by bikers. I saw some incredibly energetic shows. I remember seeing No Means No, and it was high-energy, man. It was so high-energy I remember smashing my hand into some broken glass and bleeding.
(Aside: This was common when I was younger. I had so much anger inside me, I would cut myself to try to feel. It’s difficult to explain unless you’ve experienced it yourself…or felt the urge to go this far. It was mainly during my early twenties, but it did occasionally happen in my early-mid thirties. I may or may not explore the psychology later. It’s not easy, man. It’s also not easy to understand why some friends thought it was funny and encouraged me in my actions. They didn’t realize I would also do it by myself late at night and not tell anyone. I don’t think it’s funny. Especially when you have to wear long-sleeve shirts in the summer at work to cover up the scars. This happened a couple of times.)
The blood didn’t bother me (it was never deep enough for medical concern); I just went on drinking and carrying on idiotic and crazed…it was a huge release of anger and frustration. The way to do it, I guess, is to go to the shows, let out all your anger and frustrations and hostilities…let them out…let the sweat pour over them…then pinpoint why you are angry and hostile and do something about it. I’m always struggling with my anger. I guess when it comes down to it…I like, and LOVE (especially my pets…Poobah and Trouble) a lot of things about life, but there is this deep-rooted unhappiness inside me. Is it hereditary? My Mom seems unhappy. If she is, she remains silent about it, while I shout about it!!! If she’s not as unhappy as I think, then I’m missing the mark and good for her.
I DON’T WANT TO BE UNHAPPY!!!! This is why music is important to me. It’s pure, true and sincere. I’m NOT talking about the insincere corporate crap solely for profits…and I’m not naive. Musicians need to make a living, so I don’t put down musicians for “selling out”. I blame the marketers of our culture who seem intent on making the youth more and more stupid and pliable and accepting of their crap. If you don’t think there’s political motivation behind this…well, I’d have to say you are unaware. PMRC anybody? I think the reverberations of that are still being felt today. Big record companies aren’t going to sign true controversy (they manufacture their own), because they want the government on their side in the fight against file-sharing. This is why we need to support the smaller, more sincere companies out there. Revenant is a great example. The Bear Family releases box sets that you know aren’t going to be big sellers, but they have a market of collectors and music obsessives. They don’t need to be #1 with a bullet…just sell enough to make some bucks, make a lot of collectors happy, and more obscure musicians will benefit from some bucks and more exposure.
I’m nearing the end of “Fury’s Hour” by Warren Kinsella, a well-written manifesto about punk rock. He really lambastes the racist punks…and rightfully so! Replacing one system of hatred with another system of hatred, well… what’s the fucking point? It’s still hatred, and if that’s all we’re going to end up being, let’s get it over with now…let’s finish off the job we’ve started and finish off the planet choking with pollution and shit coming out of its rivers and forests cut down and resources raped by greedy capitalists out for themselves.
Things suck, things need to change, or our planet will spew us out just like she has with various other species in the past. And that’s all we are to her…another fucking species…however, we are the MOST dangerous of species.
END OF CATHARTIC WARNING
What this is all leading to…um…yeah, I’ll rent out Don Letts’ “Punk: Attitude” and give the people what they want!! My opinion!!
Hawkwind: Hall of the Mountain Grill (1974) **** This may not be the best Hawkwind album, but it’s still fantastic. Remember from a previous blog, I mentioned my luck in getting “The Illustrated Encyclopedia of Rock”. Well, Hawkwind was a vital part of my emergence into rock debauchery. There was a nice colour photo of “Space Ritual” with Stacia’s breasts exposed for an innocent 14-year-old Catholic boy to see.
SIDE ONE (I have it on LP!)
Psychedelic Warlords: absolutely awesome…classic.
Winds of Change: beautiful. Hawkwind can be all crazy and acid-soaked, and they can also make beautiful music.
D-Rider: I guess this is dated and all that…certainly of its time…but it washes into Web Weaver, and….is beautiful
SIDE TWO
You’d Better Believe It: another psychedelic classic….the beginning sounds incredibly familiar…was it before Hawkwind or after???? It’s great…or did I hear this from Hawkwind originally years ago…and as Hawkwind says: “It’s so easy to say”….and it’s live?!
Hall of the Mountain Grill: Hawkwind goes classical and again…beautiful, beautiful.
Lost Johnny: classic…I’ve read Lemmy’s autobiography and loved it, and love Lemmy! I also read Mick Farren’s “Give the Anarchist a Cigarette”, and it’s also highly recommended by Harvey Dog…The Deviants were also awesome…well, awesome may not be the right word, but maybe we’ll say highly interesting…very interesting…
Goat Willow / Paradox: great ending to a great album.
And remember…Hawkwind loves you.
Ode to my Guru
I am so tired…
ready to quit
give it up.
another day,
another fight,
I’m sick of the fight.
sometimes the point of it all
…is hollow…
life feels empty
yet I know,
yes!
I know.
I have a reason
to keep on going
even when everything
feels empty, shallow
I see the Guru
sleeping there,
I feel her warmth.
I know
I know
That’s enough reason
to keep on living.
Hindsight
- I was an absolute mess during this time period. I was coming up on two years since my major breakdown – I was diagnosed with long-term major depression – and we had moved to Prince George, BC, for the Guru’s job. Medication had made everything worse, and soon I would begin seeing my 3rd therapist and slowly crawl from the mire of a damaged mind. It would take a move to Haida Gwaii before I became more functional. I struggle to this day with depression…and it sucks.
- Hawkwind remains one of my favourite and most-listened-to bands.