The Harv & Friend Trilogy

From 2016-2018 I recorded three covers of songs I love. I adjusted the lyrics to tell the story of Harv & his friend watching wrestling, while Harv tells his friend his recent exploits with substances & girls.


The Songs


#1 – I’m Straight (Jonathan Richman) 3:43
Volume 1: The Learning Curve 2012-2018

September, 2016
Vocals, Harmonica, Sample (The War to Settle the Score – Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper 1985), Mixer 1 – (techno sampler – 5 different samples from ButtonBass), Sounds (from SoundBible)


#2 – I Couldn’t Get High (Ken Weaver) 4:38
Volume 1: The Learning Curve 2012-2018

December 2016
Vocals, Background Vocals, Samples (6 second loop from “I Couldn’t Get High” – The Fugs from “Golden Filth”), Background Noise (Video – I Like To Hurt People – featuring Lord Athol Layton, The Sheik, Dusty Rhodes & Terry Funk), Red Reggaeton Mixer & House Mixer, Bass Loop & Drum Loop from ButtonBass

#3 – Lola (Ray Davies) 5:02
Volume 1: The Learning Curve 2012-2018

June 2018
Vocals, Background (The Funks vs. The Sheik & Abdullah The Butcher in Japan 1977), Trap (ButtonBass)

The Words


I’m Straight (Jonathan Richman)

I'm Straight - drawing by Harvey Dog for Volume 1: The Learning Curve
I’m Straight – drawing by Harvey Dog

Scene 1
(War to Settle the Score featuring Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper is on the tv in the background throughout the song)
Friend: Oh, I haven’t seen this in about 25 years. Whoa.
(Harv shudders)
Harv: I called that number three times already today.
Friend: Oh, Harv.
Harv: But I, I got scared, I put it back in place.
Friend: What did you put back in place?
Harv: I put the phone back in place, ok, I put the phone back in place.
Friend: Whoa, calm down.
Harv: I still don’t know if I should have called her up.
Friend: Probably not.
Harv: Look, just tell me, why doesn’t she tell me if I’m out of place. ‘Cause now she has a chance to make me feel awkward.
Friend: Like now?
Harv: Oh, I know, I know. Funny. Funny. But then I wish I never even called up that place.

Scene 2
Harv: So, um, did I tell you I saw her today?
Friend: Who?
Harv: She walked by with Hippie Johnny.
Friend: Oh God.
Harv: ..and that’s why I had to call her up 3 times and say: “I want to take his place.”
Friend: Oh God.
Harv: So, the phone call it concern…it was about Hippie Johnny.
Friend: Not him.
Harv: He’s always stoned. He’s never straight. I saw her today, walk by, with Hippie Johnny. Look, I had to call her up and say: “I want to take his place.” See, he’s stoned. Hippie Johnny. I’m straight., and I want to take his place. I’m straight.

Scene 3
Harv: Now, look, I like him too. I like Hippy Johnny.
Friend: He’s OK.
Harv: But, I’m straight, and I want to take his place. I said I’m straight. I’m straight. I’m proud to say I’m straight. Straight, and I want to take his place.
Friend: Ok, Harv.
Harv: Now I’ve watched her walk around, I’ve seen her walking around, and I’ve watched her meet these new boyfriends.
Friend: Boyfriends?
Harv: She tells me and says, “oh, these guys, they’re so great, and you know, they’re so deep.”
Friend: I hear ya!
Harv: Why can’t they at least take this place, and take it straight? Why always stoned?
Friend: yeah…
Harv: …like Hippie Johnny. I’m straight, and I want to take his place. I’m straight.

Scene 4
Harv: I’m certainly not stoned…at least, not like Hippie Johnny. I’m straight, and I want to take his place. I’m staight, I said, I’m straight and I want to take his place. All right you Hated Uncles, what do you say?
Hated Uncles: I’m Straight
Harv: Tell the world now.
Hated Uncles: I’m Straight
Harv: That’s it.
Hated Uncles: I’m Straight
Harv: Yeh. I’m straight, and I want to take his place!

Written by Jonathan Richman


I Couldn’t Get High (Ken Weaver)

I Couldn't Get High - drawing by Harvey Dog for Volume 1: The Learning Curve
I Couldn’t Get High – drawing by Harvey Dog

Scene 1
(I Like To Hurt People featuring The Sheik, Terry Funk, Dusty Rhodes, Lord Athol Layton is on the tv in the background throughout the song )
Friend: Oh, this should be pretty good. I haven’t seen the Original Sheik in years. Good to have you back Harv. Harv?
Harv: Went to a party the other night / Hoping I’d meet some banana freaks / Went downtown and bought me some wine
Friend: Ah, ok Harv. Well, how was the party?
Harv: Yeh, I’m sorry, I know. I went to this party the other night. I wanted to feel my mind was light. So I grabbed a bottle and I started drinking wine
Friend: and rye and gin and vodka
Harv: That’s funny. So anyway, I thought pretty soon, I’d be feeling fine….but I couldn’t get high!
Friend: No?
Harv: I don’t know why I just couldn’t get high
Friend: You sure about that Harv? Hahaha. Oh oh. Looks The Sheik is out of control. Harv. Hey Harv?

Scene 2
Harv: Whipped out my pipe and stuffed it full of grass / Went to the fridge for a piranha fish / Then I smoked a pterodactyl egg
Friend: Ok, Harv. Sounds like you had quite the party.
Harv: Oh, it was quite the party alright. Anyway, so I took a match and I lit it real fast.
Friend: What did you light there real fast there Harv?
Harv: I lit the pipe. I lit the pipe real fast. I huffed and I puffed and I smoked and I toked.
Friend: I thought you were straight there Harv?
Harv: Well, you know, after a while my heart was nearly broke.
Friend: OK
Harv: I couldn’t get high anyway.
Friend: No
Harv: I don’t know why I couldn’t get high. I don’t know why. Shit.
Friend: Sounds like you’re obsessed about this party you went to there Harv. Anything else happen?

Scene 3
Harv: Gobbld up a mound of STP / I was waiting for my body to seize / so I got me a cube of LSD
Friend: So, now you’re taking STP and LSD now, are we Harv? Hmm…ok. What happened next?
Harv: I sat down to wait for it to hit me
Friend: Yeh
Harv: I was pretty mad. I waited 30 minutes, I was waiting 30 minutes and nothing happened, so I meditated. I thought, ok, Harv. Take it easy, calm down, meditated. I could not get stoned. I could not get stoned.
Friend: OK. So, well, what did you do?
Harv: I had to give it up and head for home becasue I could not get stoned. I don’t know why.
Friend: That’s the whole story there Harv? You couldn’t get high at this party and then you went home. ok..that’s good

Scene 4
Harv: We couldn’t get high, we couldn’t get stoned / Had to give it up and head for home / We couldn’t get high, we couldn’t get stoned / Never did meet a banana freak / I couldn’t get highhhhh!!!!
shit…oh goddamn..I don’t know why…
Friend: Hahaha…now I understand Harv. It all makes sense now.
Terry Funk: He’s an idiot and a goof like this.

Written by Ken Weaver


Lola (Ray Davies)

Intro
Friend: This should be pretty good…Funks Sheik Abdullah…in Japan….bloodbath anyone? oh oh..I recognize that look. What’s happened Harv?

Lola - drawing by Harvey Dog for Volume 1: The Learning Curve
Lola – drawing adapted from Lola album cover – by Harvey Dog 2018

Scene 1
Harv: ok, well, um, I met her in a club down in old Soho. You know old Soho?
Friend: I know old Soho
Harv: Yeh, ya know, it’s the place where you drink champagne…it tastes just like cherry-cola (I hate cherry cola)
Friend: What about regular coke? You know what I mean.
Harv: Oh, I know what you mean (2x) So, anyway, she walked up to me and she asked me to dance.
Friend: That sounds good
Harv: …and then, I thought. Oh why not, Harv…so I asked her her name
Friend: Whoa whoa slow down there Casanova…hahaha
Harv: …and in a dark brown voice she said, Lola
Friend: Lola?
Harv: L O L A Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Friend: ok Harv

Scene 2
Harv: So, anyway, you know, I’m not the world’s most physical guy
Friend: Maybe not
Harv: I’m more of an intellectual…ya know?
Friend: If you say so Harv
Harv: So anyway, she squeezed me so tight, she nearly broke my spine!!
Friend: Back to the gym!
Harv: I’m not dumb
(laughter)
Harv: What are you laughing at?
Friend: Oh nothing Harv
Harv: Funny funny…anyway I can’t understand, ummm…well
Friend: Spit it out Harv
Harv: Welllll….she walks like a woman…
Friend: yeh yeh
Harv: …but she talks like a man
Friend: A man?
Harv: Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Scene 3
Friend: You sound like 2 people there Harv. Well, what happened next?
Harv: Well we drank champagne, we danced all night
Friend: That sounds good
Harv: Do you remember much of old Soho?
Friend: I remember a little of old Soho
Harv: They have electric candlelight, and we’re sitting there and suddenly, well, she picks me up and puts me on her knee
Friend: Whoa! What did you do next?
Harv: Well she said “Little boy won’t you come home with me”
(laughter)
Harv: Stop laughing (2x)
Friend: ok ok
Harv: Well, you know… I’m not the world’s most passionate guy
Friend: Maybe the second
Harv: I know I know. Then I looked into her eyes and…well…
Friend: Spit it out
Harv: I almost fell for my Lola
Friend: Whoa
Harv: La-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola. Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Scene 4
Friend: There’s 3 of you now Harv, go on go on
Harv: So I pushed her away
Friend: You what?! What?!!
Harv: I pushed her away
Friend: You pushed her!
Harv: No no no not physically…
Friend: What?!
Harv: …metaphorically
Friend: I hope so Harv, I hope so, I hope so
Harv: So get a load of this… I walked to the door, then…ok…I fell to the floor
Friend: How drunk were you Harv?
Harv: Not that bad, not that bad. So I got down on my knees
Friend: yeh yeh
Harv: and I looked at her and she looked at me
Friend: yeh yeh
Harv: I looked at her, she looked at me
Friend: yeh yeh yeh
Harv: …and then I…no no no…that’s the way that I want it to stay
Friend: You can’t do that
Harv: I always want it to be that way…for my Lola
Friend: No fair Harv. What happened?
Harv: Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
Friend: What do you mean by that?
Harv: Oh nothing…just that it’s a mixed up muddled up shook up world …you know…except for Lola. La-la-la-la Lola
Friend: You can’t end the story like that. What happened?
Harv: I always want it to be that way
Friend: You gonna see her again Harv?
Harv: Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
Friend: What kind of ending is that? Come on Harv. So, was she or is she a man?

Written by: Raymond Douglas Davies


The Lola Video



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